Psychology

Will Anyone Still Love Me? Check 3 Myth

Will Anyone Still Love Me? Check 3 Myth

Will Anyone Still Love Me? How do you repair yourself and regain your confidence when you encounter a lovelorn or job loss? In the face of “loss” in life, practice the ability to self-repair from the “3 P Theory” of positive psychology.

“We are often taught how to gain, but rarely practice facing loss.” Sheryl Sandberg, “Embracing Option B”

From childhood to adulthood, whether it is family or school education, or even after entering the workplace, most people focus on how to “acquire.” However, few people tell us what mentality we should have when facing loss. How do I build confidence again?

If everyone is bound to face loss in their life, whether it is the loss of a relationship, a job, or a loved one, have you ever thought about how you would face it?

American psychologist Martin EP Seligman, known as the father of positive psychology, proposed the “3 P theory.” Each of these three Ps represents a myth, and these myths will hinder people’s recovery from loss. If you want to learn the ability to recover from injury, you might as well start by understanding these 3 myths.

Myth 1: Personalization

You may think: “This is all my fault”
but the truth is: “It happens to everyone”

When facing loss, one of the most unhealthy mentalities is “self-blame”, thinking that everything is because of something you did wrong, and even completely denying your own value and personality.

Additional screenings at the same scene:

What should you do if you get broken up suddenly? What falling in love taught me: Be your own gardener, if the flowers bloom, butterflies will come.

The fact is that everyone is likely to encounter loss, and it has nothing to do with who you are. Sometimes it is just that you are unlucky and encounter accidents that everyone is likely to encounter.

When you fall into this self-blame mood, you can take out a piece of paper and list 3 to 5 reasons for the incident to help yourself get rid of self-criticism and focus more on the facts themselves.

Myth 2: Pervasiveness

You may think: “My life is all a mess”
but the truth is: “Sometimes my emotions are affected by this event”

Sometimes we magnify our pain and let it spread to every corner of our lives. When negative emotions affect multiple aspects of our lives, it becomes increasingly difficult for us to move past the pain.

You can differentiate between the parts of your life that are actually affected by the pain and the parts of your life that are still functioning smoothly and are actually doing just fine.

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Maybe some things will indeed be affected, but you can put more effort and focus on those parts that will not be affected, and slowly you will find that you actually have the power to control your life and change the current situation.

Myth 3: Permanence

You may think: “I will be very unhappy throughout my life”
but the fact is: “I have encountered unpleasant things recently”

When we are still in pain, it is easy to assume that this state of affairs will last a lifetime. Because sadness is a huge emotion, it is very normal to be immersed in this emotion. Please be more patient with yourself, take good care of yourself, and give yourself enough time to come out.

Additional screenings at the same scene:

Feeling world-weary at work on Monday? Picture book “What to do if there is flooding”: We all have negative emotions, but we just lack the window to open them

If you can, we encourage you to try to imagine what your life will be like in 5 years, write it down or draw it, and try to build as clear a picture in your mind as possible. You will slowly discover that the picture you have in your mind is not impossible, you just need time.

Have you ever fallen into the trap of these 3 P’s? When you clearly recognize the existence of these myths, you will be better able to break away from the established thinking framework.

The last exercise we can do is to learn to use less extreme words such as “always, definitely, always” because they can easily limit the possibility of changing the current situation.

The next time you feel like blurting out, “I’ll never meet anyone as good as him,” try thinking of the three P’s above and replacing them with something else. You can change it to say, “Although I am not capable of loving or being loved yet, when one day I am ready, I know there are so many people in the world, and I will meet them who can love each other.”

You are welcome to share this post with friends who are facing the pain of loss. You are also welcome to follow Vidamore’s Instagram to discover and reshape your own thoughts and emotions, and face life with a more resilient mentality.

About the author

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A talented writer whose captivating stories explore the depths of human emotion and experience. With a unique blend of elegance and authenticity, TheStreetBlogger's work sparks conversations, challenges norms, and inspires empathy. Their dedication to storytelling illuminates the power of words to unite and uplift us all. TheStreetBlogger; "Where Streets Speak and Stories Unfold"

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